Assignment 2 - Elements of Design, My Tutors Comments

Feedback on assignment

Your work shows good imagination and creativity in picking up on the

influence of Andrea Michele Landini’s 'Magic Trip'. It would have been worth

while quoting the book using the harvard reference system - a guide to this

can be found on the OCA’s website. Other than this I think that this is a great

approach to the brief presenting images that are a novel and refreshing theme

to illustrate the brief.

There’s a balance to be struck between meeting the brief to illustrate the topic

and creating an interesting image that falls into the theme. Quite where and

how you strike the balance is up to you; however, some of your images have

the balance favouring the theme and placing illustrating the brief second.

In some instances, I feel that your foreknowledge of the scene colours your

description and interpretation of the image. Others, who don’t have this

knowledge, perhaps don’t see or recognise the elements in the image that

you see. For example, your image of two points. Of itself this wouldn’t matter

but I suggest that your foreknowledge distracts you from other possibilities for

the image.

In this case your distinct and irregular shape image - I find recognising the

road sign hard if not impossible. This doesn’t matter; but I suggest that the

images as you have it contains several shapes and as such may be

distracting. I suggest a tighter crop to simplify the image and concentrate

attention more on the fulfillment on the brief.

I particularly like your introduction of elements of the car to the image that lifts

the image out of the ordinary interpretation of the brief. Your creativity is ably

demonstrated. An example of this is your illustration of diagonal - window

washer.

A couple of suggestions on this image: the placement of the screen wash

nozzle - you have it very close to the top of the frame; would it be better to

place this on the top left third intersection? Another suggestion to strengthen

the notion of lifting the image out of the ordinary might be to sprinkle water

droplets on to the bonnet of the car. Just thoughts to add to an already good

image.

There are one or two images that might be improved technically. A couple of

them seem to have suspect focus.

Examples of this are where you have dust or other ‘specs’ on the car body.

See the image ‘flying high’ where the specs are blurred and compare this to

the narrow lines image where the specs are sharp. Y0our ‘U-turn’ image also

seems to be unsharp. The actual handle rather than the reflections should I

feel be sharp.

Suggestions/thoughts on the images are as follows:

Single point - good image that works well. The fence posts in the top right of

frame are perhaps a little distracting in terms of moving attention away from

the post box. Suggestion: move the camera view to put the post box top right

of frame.

Two Points - good image that fits the theme but not convinced about ‘two

points’ there is a strong diagonal which makes for a good composition but

there are several ‘points’ along it.

Several Points - Yes a good image but the several points are fairly uniform

and the dark area on the left of frame is perhaps distracting - how about

rotating the image and cropping it to lessen its impact:

Your second image (signs of the tree) I feel is the better of the two. I

particularly like the rippling of the paint work on the right of frame as this keys

the viewer into the two scenes in the image - the reflection and the actuality of

the car body work.

Horizontal and Vertical Lines - As you say a simple shot that mets the brief

and the theme but it is perhaps a little ordinary. I wonder if an increase

contrast might help - see what you think:

Diagonal - A good shot again - I’ve already commented about the positioning

of the nozzle.

Curves - Yes a great image - I particularly like the contrast between the

straight blurred lines in the top half of the frame and the curve of the handle in

the bottom half. That you only include part of the handle also works well

leaving the viewer to extrapolate this ‘missing’ aspect.

Distinct Shape - I’ve already commented on this one. I like the ‘sharp’ dust

specs that again give the viewer the two aspects: the actual car panel and the

abstract shape.

Triangle - Both good shots. I prefer the first one: it’s sharp and shows the

triangles well while keeping within the theme of the set of images. THe

second image I feel while has the triangle of the two ‘blobs’ of the signs and

the edge of the handle, it suffers from the distraction of the cars at the bottom

of the frame. Also I feel it would benefit from having the specs on the right of

the frame sharp as this would be in keeping with ‘Distinct shape’.

Rhythm - Yes a good image but this is one image that I feel you have the

balance between theme and brief wrong. Yes the eye can be thought to

bobble across the tops of the trees moving from left to right, but I think that

there are too many other distraction in the image that are concerned with the

theme. There are better images (in terms of meeting the brief) amoung your

images on your blog exercise for rhythm; but I realise that they don’t fall in

with the theme.

Like the notion of “a pinch of salt” as an illustration of the topic. The focus

tends to be on the van but as this is recognisably little it also fits the bill.

Would try for a squarer crop and not use rounded corners.

Pattern - Another good image that shows your good observation and

creativity. It makes a good interesting and well composed image. But consider

the brief - pattern... this supposes a repeating (probably single) pattern that

extends beyond the edges of the frame. In your image the main pattern is the

squares of the carport but thees are then dominated by the strong diagonal

midway up the frame and then further dissipated towards the top of the frame

by the other shapes/objects and colours.

I’m not saying your image is wrong or bad just alerting you to where your

pursuit of the theme is overwhelming the brief.